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10 essential steps to take when you’re worried about your parent

If you’re concerned about your parent’s health, behaviour, or overall well-being, you’re not alone. Many adult children find themselves facing this difficult stage of life, wondering what to do next. Whether you’ve noticed memory issues, physical decline, or changes in mood, it’s important to take action while staying compassionate.

Here are 10 essential steps to help you navigate this situation with clarity and care.

1. Write down your observations

Start by keeping a detailed log of any concerns. Jot down specific incidents, behaviours, or changes in their routine. This helps separate fact from fear and gives you a clear record to refer to later. It also provides valuable information to share with family members, doctors, or caregivers.

2. Talk to your loved ones

You don’t have to handle this alone. Speak with siblings, close relatives, or trusted friends who also know your parent. They may offer insights, confirm your concerns, or provide a different perspective. Having a support system makes it easier to approach difficult conversations and decisions.

3. Do some research

Before jumping to conclusions, take time to educate yourself. Use reliable sources like:

  • Medical websites (e.g., NHS, Mayo Clinic)
  • Government health portals
  • Support organisations (e.g., Alzheimer’s Society)
  • AI tools like ChatGPT for general guidance

Be cautious about misinformation—always cross-check facts with reputable sources.

4. Have a conversation with your parent

This can be one of the toughest steps, but it’s essential. Approach the discussion with respect and sensitivity. Instead of confronting them with concerns, frame it around your feelings:

"Mum/Dad, I want to make sure we’re thinking ahead together. I’d feel better knowing what your preferences are for the future. Also, I’ve noticed a few things that I’d love for you to check with a doctor, just to be safe."

Keeping the conversation calm and collaborative increases the chances of a positive response.

5. Sort out legal and health plans

Ensure important documents like:
Power of attorney (to manage finances or health decisions if needed)
Advanced care plan (outlining medical preferences)
Will and estate documents

These legal safeguards ensure your parent’s wishes are honoured and prevent unnecessary stress later on.

6. Prioritise your own well-being

Caring for a parent can be emotionally draining. Don’t neglect your own health—focus on:
✔ Regular exercise
✔ Healthy eating
✔ Quality sleep
✔ Stress management (e.g., meditation, journaling)

You can’t pour from an empty cup, so taking care of yourself is essential.

7. Acknowledge and process your emotions

Watching a parent age can bring up feelings of grief, frustration, and sadness. It’s okay to mourn the changes, even as you continue to support them. Seeking therapy or joining a support group can be incredibly helpful.

8. Establish a routine

Routines create stability and reassurance, especially for parents experiencing memory loss or cognitive decline. Try to:
✔ Set consistent mealtimes
✔ Plan daily walks or activities
✔ Keep up with regular medical check-ups

Structure helps both you and your parent feel more grounded.

9. Find a support community

You don’t have to do this alone. Look for:
✔ Online forums for caregivers
✔ Local support groups
✔ Elder care helplines

Connecting with others in similar situations can offer emotional support, practical advice, and valuable resources.

10. Be an advocate for your parent

As their needs evolve, your parent may require medical care, assisted living, or home modifications. Be proactive in:
✔ Asking doctors the right questions
✔ Ensuring they receive proper care
✔ Standing up for their needs in medical or legal settings

Being their voice can make all the difference in securing their well-being.

Final thoughts

Supporting an ageing parent is never easy, but taking these steps can make it more manageable. Remember:
💙 You’re not alone
💙 Seeking help is a sign of strength
💙 Love and connection matter most

If you're looking for further guidance, consider speaking with a geriatric specialist, elder care adviser, or legal expert to help navigate this journey.

March 24, 2025
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Approx 5 minutes